I can see that you've already gotten a hold of mom....Chase told me that you've been calling this morning (while Dale and I have been over painting mom's town house) and I came home for lunch to see many calls from you guys on the phone. Nice to see that things certainly haven't changed. Not even 48 hrs in her new town and it's already the same here for her as there. :o(
I haven't had a chance to talk to you guys since we decided to move mom here many months ago. I'll take you back a bit to let you know what all went down. I started getting calls from different people in Grande Cache.....all letting me know how worried and concerned they were about mom. Basically they were letting me know that it was very serious and that maybe I should know this and try to help if I could. I cried and cried for days. I so wanted to just dis-own my whole family and at the same time knew I could not. If I wasn't the one to step in and do something to help her........ NO ONE would. There just is no one else that she has who will be able to take care of her as her physical and emotional health all spiral downwards. Her doctor in GC even called me and had a phone consult with me over her.
The others who called from GC also shared with me (in private....... mom doesn't even know) that mom has approached them more than once for money. Some gave to her in secret not even sharing with their husbands because they felt so bad for her. Some took her uptown and bought her a few groceries so that she would have food to eat. I'm not even kidding. I could not believe it. I've already had Kim call mad at me that mom's been calling people in her life for money (Chuck) and how embarrassed she was about that. I know understand that embarrassment.
I knew I needed counsel as well over what to do so I also got some myself here. We moved mom here to be there for her and to help with all the things she's needing now and will forsure be needing as the years go by now. I was shocked to see that EVERYTHING mom owns from her whole life fit into the back of our 12 passenger van to move her here. That is all she has. No couch, no chairs, one single bed and a few boxes full of her "treasures" that she's acquired over the years and both you and I know these are treasures that the kids have made or that she's picked up at garage sales or thrift shops. Not the treasures we enjoy that's forsure! She can not afford to buy herself a couch to sit on here in her new place. I shake my head. A lady who has worked SO hard her whole life has absolutely NOTHING to show for it now.......and not a single penny to her name. I just don't get it.
Where did all that money go??? I have a pretty good guess.
During the counsel that was given to me.....someone had said that we could go to a lawyer and become a power of attorney over mom's health decisions and money. Basically mom would have no access to her own money and would be given money for her rent groceries etc from the power of attorney. Anything done would have to go through the Power of attorney first. They also suggested that that power of attorney NOT be Dale or I as she could easily persuade us to give her money for certain things and we'd hold the guilt or pressure of those decisions.
I knew it was something we could fall back on but I really was hoping to not have to take those steps. After seeing what little mom has and what little will be coming into her. I think there is no other choice. She will not survive with out this type of set up.
I want to give you guys the heads up about that. So you are aware that she will not longer have the access to give you.
Also.....Dale is asking you do not call her anymore when mom is here. He wanted to tell you guys that when she was here at Christmas time, sitting in our bedroom arguing with you guys on the phone but I asked him not to talk with you about that. He was really upset today after hearing you had already been calling today here. Please respect what he is asking of you.
If there is more harassment towards her..... we will look into something else that can prevent that. I will talk to the lawyer about a restraining order or something where there is no contact as her health just can not take it anymore Derek. She is failing so fast. It breaks my heart. I know I can't bear that burden as well though so something would need to be done.
I hope you understand and can see how serious mom has gone down. I'm not trying to rub it in at all........... just wanting you to know what others have already seen....... what they came to me with out of love and concern for her....... and now what I've seen with my own eyes.
SHE NEEDS PEACE. She needs it so bad. She needs to have it for the first time in her life.......... I'm hoping she finds it here. I will do what I can to make that happen for her.
Pleaser hear what we're saying,
Thanks
Dawn & Dale.
